he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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