dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize