haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
