Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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