it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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