I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
