There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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