1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
