also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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