Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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