I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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