i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
