i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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