Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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