I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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