Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
