i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
