You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
