Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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