Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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