So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
