PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
