Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
