There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
