AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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