Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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