So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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