I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
