I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
