Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
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It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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