He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
