so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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