If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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