am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I am one with the molecules
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