oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
ok first of all what the fuck
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
