Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
