My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
