I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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