I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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