She said her name was "party"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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