There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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