She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We got so high we made milksteak
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I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
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You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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