TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
