I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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