he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
