Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
