We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Houston, we have a squirter
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
