You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
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I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize