you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
