I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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