was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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