The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
