I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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