I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
barbara walters just said penis...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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