wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You ate ashes out of my bong
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
