Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
