I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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