his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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